Ted's Safety Net
by Commander Fiction
Summary: A oneshot about after Tracy's death. I made this a long time ago so don't judge lol. Ted mourns the lost of his wife and now he doesn't know if he can continue on in the world, but his good trusty friend, Barney Stinson, is determined to change his mind and even change his life. Ted Whump. Barney and Ted pairing/friendship. No slash. Rated because I'm paranoid.


A _how i met your mother_ Fiction

 _"For all the times Ted Mosby has been, punched, lied to, bullied, made fun of, and broken hearted. Innocence, something that we all lose."_

Ted's Safety Net

 **Oneshot: The Day Innocence Died**

Ted Mosby sat upon the edge of the bed, thoughts swarming his mind like bees in a hive. There were some many, but somehow he could hold on to any of them. He shifted slightly to get more comfortable, his gaze remaining to stare out the window into the distant world. His hands were shaking uncontrollably in his lap proving the fact that he couldn't control anything in this world. Control is an illusion that we tell ourselves so we don't lose our sanity.

As time passed, his head dropped to his lap, watching his hands quiver. Oh how he longed for someone to come beside him, hold his hand, give him a hug, tell him that everything would be alright. But nobody came, it was like nobody cared. Then again maybe that was the deal.

Mosby didn't know how much time passed from the moment he sat upon his bed to the point the sun risen above the skyline, but he was sure that it couldn't have been more than a few hours. He was wrong. When he finally got the strength to get out of bed it was already eight in the morning, which meant he had been in for at least six hours staring blankly at nothing.

Ted stumbled out of his room, pain welling up in chest from the previous week. Not too long ago he was the man staring at his wife's coffin. It was Tracy; she had gotten sick and died, breaking his heart to point of no return. Deep down Ted didn't want to admit it, but he knew he others would find out soon how he felt about this.

That morning he went down to MacLaren's, since the kids were spending the next week at their Uncle and Aunt Marshall and Lily's house (Penny being nine and Luke only seven). After the drive there, in a taxi, he arrived through the entrance, for a second he thought no one was there, but right before he turned around to walk out, a familiar blond head looked his way. Ted was hesitant at first, but Barney smiled and waved him forward. Mosby stuck his lip out in thought and slowly made his way over. He slumped down with a big sigh and a face that was on the verge of crying.

Now Barney had seen Ted in bad shape, but he had never seen him like this before. He was different; he no longer had that innocence that made Ted Ted. It was like the moment Tracy died a part of him died with her. Barney stared deeply into his friend's eyes, wanting to say so much but couldn't find the words to say. Stinson sat back for the next twenty minutes and watched his best friend wither away before him.

Beer after beer he ordered, he just kept them coming. Each time the bottle went down faster, it was getting to the point that Ted was going to drink all three bottles at once that Barney spoke up.

"Hey Ted, don't do that." Barney informed him as he pulled the alcohol from his friend's lips.

"When did you get so mature?" Ted muttered, gazing at the swooshing liquid in which the waitress carried across the bar.

"I'm a father now Ted. Ellie, she's beautiful, the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me." Barney said with a sigh as he imagined his little four-year old girl, growing up so fast.

"What about Robin?" Ted asked with a little stifle and he wiped his eyes.

"I loved Robin, but we just weren't meant to be, this-" Barney said gesturing his hands out towards the world around him "is meant to be. I was meant to have Ellie, without her I would be the same old idiot running around having sex with different girls."

"What do I do Barney? How will go to bed knowing that the next day will be as lonely as the last? Knowing that my kids will never have the mother they need? I can't be a single parent!" Mosby panicked, tearing at the roots of his hair.

"Look Ted, if there's one thing I do know, I know this for sure: you've come so far, through so much and I know you can get through this. I'm not saying it will be easy, but I am saying it is doable. Don't lose hope Ted, for I haven't lost hope in you." Stinson assured him, grasping his shoulder.

"But Luke and Penny? What will I do? They need a mother . . ." Ted pointed out, covering his face with his hands to hide his tears.

"We're all here for you Ted. I'm not going anywhere. They need you Ted. They need you to be strong for them. That's what Tracy would have wanted." The blond told him and sat beside him.

"There was so much we were going to do, so many memories that we were going to have together. But now they're all lost." Mosby cried with Stinson wrapping an arm around him for comfort.

"Then make new memories, memories that will cherish Tracy's life." Barney replied, keeping his best friend close.

"Just because she's gone doesn't mean she's _gone_ does it?" Ted asked, raising his head from his hands, which were soaked with tears.

"I'm sure she's smiling down from Heaven right now as we speak." Stinson said.

"What now?" Ted said miserably, staring at his quivering hands before him.

"I take you home." Barney announced and grasped his hand and slowly led him out of the bar.

Ted let himself be led out, gazing down at his feet. Emotionlessly he walked, his legs moving but with no feeling. When Barney paused to look back at his friend, his face was worried. His friend was lost, lonely, broken, crushed, and it was a feeling Barney was familiar with, just not to this extreme. Stinson knew if he let Ted go back home, back to his house, full of memories of his wife, he would lose him forever.

Calling for a taxi, the two of them waited for the driver to swing to the side of the road and they both slid in the car. Barney hadn't realized but Ted's grip upon his hand was loosening, it was like he was losing hope. When Barney felt his friend's hand slip away he quickly grasped it once more and stared at Mosby.

The driver then asked 'where to?' and Barney told him his address. Stinson then glanced back at Ted, who silently cried. Heart aching, Barney pulled him close, holding him within his arms. If the situation wasn't so depressing they would've laughed about how _gay_ they looked, but unfortunately none of them were that merry to do so.

When they arrived at Barney's apartment, Barney thanked and tipped the driver before getting his friend out of the car. Slowly he opened Ted's door and led him out and the two walked in silence through the building and to the door. Ted didn't ask why Barney didn't take him home, he just let it happen.

Stinson got him onto the couch and he quickly rushed to find him some blankets. When Barney returned Ted was crying upon the couch, his tears dripping off his cheeks and nose. The blond bit his lower lip, trying not to get emotional. He then walked over and draped a blanket about Ted's person. Mosby then let himself be hugged, his head cradled upon Barney's shoulder.

Barney hushed him gently and began to undress him. He started with his shoes and socks, followed by his button up shirt. He then made him lie down as he got some water. When he came back Ted muttered his drunken thanks and gulped it down.

Mosby fell asleep soon after, but his dreams haunted him. There he sat, upon the edge of the lighthouse, the railings somehow removed this time. In his lap was the box with the ring, the one he used to propose to Tracy. He was waiting for something, but he just didn't know what. But when Tracy arrived he realized what he was waiting for and stood up.

There she was before him; her eyes sparkled with her lush brown hair flowing in the gentle breeze. Ted smiled and got down on one knee, he opened his mouth to speak, but his voice was mute. Tracy stared at him oddly, cocking her head to the side, waiting for him to speak.

Suddenly a storm washed over them, the rain causing Tracy to slip and dangle off the edge of the lighthouse. Ted grasped her hands before she fell. Holding tightly he didn't want to let go. His future wife glanced upwards at him, tears filling her eyes. Slowly her hands slipped, to the point she was holding on by her finger tips.

Then lightning struck and she fell, to the black abyss of nothingness. She was gone, she was gone forever. Panicky Ted turned around and there she was, standing before him, her face had death written all over it. Speechless Ted froze and she grabbed him by the throat and thrust him off the edge. Falling, time seemed to slow down, until he saw the fire beneath him.

Ted awoke with a loud cry for help, sweat pouring down his sides. Barney burst out of his room and to Ted. He snatched his hand and stared into his friend's eyes.

"I'm here Ted. It's alright." Barney whispered to him, gently laying him back down.

Stinson felt the sides of his face; they were clammy from the hangover. He stifled a few times and Barney just hushed him like a mother hushing her baby. Barney had experience with these types of things since he was a father now. His daughter currently was in her room; while Ted was sleeping Marshall dropped her off after having a play date at his house.

"Ellie!" He called after her, waiting for her squeaky reply.

"Yes dad?" Came her reply as she raced out of her room.

Ellie wore a brown leather jacket, her blond hair in a messy bun and her pink skirt fluffed out. She came to her father with a smile upon her face, but as she neared she stared at her Uncle Ted.

"What's wrong Uncle Ted?" She asked gently as she came to the couch, but before he could reply Barney spoke up.

"He's just very sad because Aunt Tracy isn't around anymore and he isn't feeling well." Stinson explained to his four-year old daughter.

"Now Ellie, can you watch Uncle Ted for me. I need to call someone." Barney asked his daughter and she nodded her head.

"Thanks Ellie." He replied and gave her a kiss upon her forehead.

Barney then left the room and snatched the phone from the counter and dialed a number. He slowly then wondered off further down the hall. Ellie glanced once more toward her father then stared at Mosby.

"Will I ever see Aunt Tracy again?" Ellie asked as she sat upon the edge of the couch.

"I'm afraid not." Ted replied, trying not to choke up on his words. Ellie just frowned and thought about it for a moment.

"Why are you so sad about it?" She asked Ted, curiosity was something that a Stinson had running through their veins.

"Because it was love. I loved her from beyond the moon and back and I would never trade a single day of being with her for anything else. She meant the world to me and now she's gone forever and I'll never have that feeling back." Mosby replied, but Ellie just shrugged.

"I know you're too young to understand, but one day you will and you'll find that person that will just make you so happy and you'll want to spend the rest of your life with that person." Ted explained, but this just further worsened her boredom as she waited for her dad to return.

"How long are you going to be here?" Ellie questioned, her face quite serious.

"I'll be gone before you know it." Mosby replied and sat upright, which caused his headache to worsen.

"Would you like some water?" The blond girl said, grabbing the empty cup from the coffee table.

"Yes please." Ted responded and watched her skip off to the kitchen to fill the glass.

Within the minute she was back and handed him the drink. Mosby said his thanks and drank the cup down till it was empty. Ellie just smiled and jumped upon his lap. Ted smirked down at her then leaned back to rub his hurting temples.

After a few minutes of resting Barney came back into the room and summoned his little girl over. Ellie ran to him and embraced him with arms stretched wide. Stinson hugged her and lifted her off of the floor. He gave her a few kisses before setting her back down.

"Hey Ted, I'm going to take Ellie to Lily's, and check on the kids there. Will you be okay alone for a little bit?" Stinson asked after telling his daughter to pack up for the day.

"Yeah that's fine." Mosby answered and closed his eyes.

"On my way back I'll grab you some medicine." Barney told him and herded his daughter out the door.

"Bye Ted." Stinson shouted as he closed the door.

"Bye." Mosby called after him and then silence washed over him like waves crashing over the shore.

Mosby would've stayed put if it wasn't for the constant ache to be home. He was homesick, not because he actually missed his house, but because he missed Tracy. Ted couldn't say how much he wanted to see her again, to touch her face, to hold her in his arms, to see her smile, her laugh. The pain was unbearable, at least all alone.

Ted summoned all the strength he had left and got up and put on his clothes. Once fully dressed he went to the door and unlocked it, he took one last glance back before locking it and shutting the door closed. He exited the building and got a taxi, he told the driver his address and sat through the long drive back home. When he got out he could feel his hangover pounding in his forehead.

He stumbled up the steps and through the door, entering his beloved home. All the lights were turned off and the house had a strange stillness to it. The aroma of food that used to hang about the rooms was gone; the sweet smell of Tracy's perfume was gone as well. The house was no longer full of lovely memories, but of memories that haunted his mind. How could he live in a house that constantly gave him nightmares?

After Barney dropped his daughter off and said hello to the Mosby kids, he went to the drug store and got some medicine for Ted. He then went back home, but when he opened the door the apartment was empty, Ted was nowhere to be found. Stinson then called his cell, but Ted didn't answer. Barney bit his lip in thought, what was the one place Ted would go? He would go home surely. But then again that was the most painful place Ted could go, he wouldn't last there very long.

Stinson then realized that Ted would go somewhere that would refresh his mind, somewhere that would remind him only of the good times, the place that he would stare and wait for the one to come. It was the old apartment above MacLaren's. Barney rushed out the door and got a taxi to MacLaren's.

When he arrived to the place, a sign on the door to the apartment read: _closed_. Barney ignored it and went inside anyways; the place was dusty and dark inside. Slowly but surely he made his way to the correct door. He reached for the handle and turned it, it swung open with a creak and revealed the empty apartment; Ted nowhere to be seen. Stinson glanced towards the window to the roof: it was wide open. Barney smiled and shook his head as he slid past the frame and glided up the steps. There before him was Ted, a beer bottle clutched his fist.

"So many memories." Ted announced, knowing that Barney was behind him without even glancing over his shoulder.

"Sometimes I wish I could go back in time and find her, to have those extra 45 days. That would mean the world to me." Mosby continued, wiping his nose afterwards.

"Ted I know it's been a rough few weeks, but you can't keep lingering in the past. It'll destroy you no matter what you say." Barney pointed out and placed a hand on his best friend's shoulder.

"The past hasn't destroyed me, it's the future that has." He whimpered and Barney came beside him, wrapping his arm around him and for a moment neither one of them wanted the moment to end.

"Ted, I will never be able to fathom what you're going through, but I can be there for you-and I will. I want to know how I can help." Barney informed him, still holding him close for fear of losing him in the waves of depression that clawed his mind.

"Thanks Barney." Mosby whimpered, trying to hold down the tears that tore at the bottom of his heart.

But somehow Mosby knew that someway Barney was going to fill that hole and mend his heart. Nobody had gone to his bedside to comfort him the day of Tracy's death, only Barney. Stinson was the first one to talk to him, the first one to give him a hug, to hold him close. And now there he was again, keeping him comforted on the roof of his old apartment. Ted didn't know how sickly and depressed he looked, but Barney did, for he had been studying him and waiting for the right moment to catch him before he fell.

Barney was his safety net, and that made him felt better. And somehow, he had the feeling that he was going to get through this.


End file.
